To Dream A Dream
by Omega-Saber
Summary: Revan reflects on how far he has come in his quest to re-discover the Star Forge during the award ceremony on Lehon after the Star Forge has destroyed. AU. One-Shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, setting or story elements used in this story, unless they are an OC and no money is being made from this fiction. It's purely for fun.

*Spoiler Alert for KOTOR*

-line break-

It was over. That was all that he could think about in that moment. It was finally, completely, undeniably over. There would be no more murderous fish people, rampaging desert monsters, sasquatch civil wars or, and he was especially pleased about this one, psychotic Sith.

He had done what they wanted; flying all over the galaxy, murdering old friends and allies while being told it was a privilege being bestowed upon him. There had been times, many, many times, when he had just wanted to pack it all in and tell the self-righteous Jedi idiots to shove their glorious quest where the sun doesn't shine.

But through it all, when he felt low, or tired or even when his anger had almost consumed him at discovering who he really was, there was one thing that had kept him going, a solitary existence that drew him in and kept him following them till the end, and that was his beloved Bastilla.

He hadn't realised he was falling for her at first. In fact, when he 'first' met her on Taris the only falling he wanted to see happen was Bastilla and her stuck-up ways 'accidently' falling off of one of the many walkways that were suspended miles above ground. But as they had travelled together, learned together and generally lived together in the cramped spaces of the Ebon Hawk for the many months of their journey, he had unavoidably fallen in love with her.

The hardest moment of their quest, now that he was looking back, was when he had confronted Bastilla on the Star Forge. It wasn't having to murder his best friend, a brother in all but blood despite his betrayal, it wasn't the swarms of Sith, droids and whatever else the force could think up to throw at him. It wasn't even that Bastilla had almost overwhelmed him in their fight. What had struck at his core and almost doomed the Republic was the moment when the woman he loved more than life itself, the woman who had taken his old life but then given him a new one with her, had asked, pleaded with him to join her on the dark side.

To say no to her and to then have her ask for him to take her life had torn him to pieces. If it had come to that, if he had been forced to kill her, he likely wouldn't even have tried making it back to the Ebon Hawk after the Republic started its attack run on the Star Forge. He would have been content to know that he had fulfilled her wishes to the best of his ability, that he had saved the Republic and Jedi Order that she had loved so dearly, and then he could have joined her wherever she had went.

All these thoughts had flashed through Revan's mind in an instant as he lowered his head to accept the medal that Master Vandar reached up to put around his neck. As he looked up, expecting to see a crowd celebrating their victory and hear the shouts of joy echoing through the Republic and the Force, he was surprised instead to hear only silence and to be looking up into the face of a tearful Master Vandar.

First he was confused. As big a presence as Vandar had in the force, he was still a diminutive being physically, and Revan himself was almost 6 foot 2. He then realised that instead of standing on the steps of the temple on Lehon he was laying on a cold slab of metal staring up at a bright white ceiling.

He panicked momentarily, as any sensible being would do, but not for himself and where he now found himself, but for Bastilla. His brilliant mind, always running faster than those around him, had jumped to the conclusion that if he could have been moved, without him knowing about it, then whoever had done so could have captured Bastilla as well.

It was while he was desperately looking in every direction he could, searching for his love, that he realised he was tied down to the table he was on and that Master Vandar's lips were moving but he couldn't hear anything. Now that he thought about it all of his senses, except for sight, including his force sense seemed to be missing. He forced down the panic that was slowly reaching apocalyptic levels and forced his frantic mind to focus on trying to hear what was being said. It took an excruciatingly long time, what felt to him like hours but was in fact only seconds, but then his hearing and other senses started to return.

What he heard though, made his adrenalin spike and he twisted his body to try and catch sight of the source of the sound he was hearing. Because although he could now hear that, yes, Master Vandar was trying to speak to him, along with several other Master's, it was the sound of Bastilla crying and screaming his name that drew all his attention, like metal to a magnet. He saw her, in all her beauty that not even the current situation could erase in his eyes, struggling against the hold of two Jedi Master's, straining to get to him.

He tried with all his might to break his bonds and get to her, started screaming at the Masters to let her go, or they would have him to deal with, and the only reaction he got was to see Bastilla recoil as if struck and then double her efforts to reach him. He was trying with all his might to reach out to the force for assistance, but for some reason he was unable to reach it. He was seconds away from falling into complete panic when someone stepped between him and Bastilla and he felt a blow to his head that snapped his attention to the person.

It was Master Vrook, his least favourite person in existence that stood before him, with a mix of not only his seemingly ever present angry sneer on his face, but also a bitter smile of victory.

"Revan" Vrook started " you have been brought before us, the Jedi High Council, on charges of High Treason against the Republic and the Jedi Order, the murder of countless Jedi and numerous war crimes"

At this Revan's head started to spin again. What was this? He had atoned himself according to them, he had betrayed almost everything he held dear for them, even when he remembered the threat beyond the outer rim that he knew was coming, just to redeem himself in their, and more importantly Bastilla's eyes. The last thing he remembered was being awarded a medal by Master Vandar for forces sake.

Vrook continued, despite the turmoil currently raging in Revan's mind.

"You have been found guilty and the punishment that has been passed down is death"

This threw Revan for another loop. Hadn't he heard the Jedi, and Bastilla and the council in particular, harp on and on about the fact that the Jedi don't kill their prisoners?

"The Republic wanted to make an example of you" Vrook said "but the Jedi have managed, due to your contribution to their eventual victory, to get that reduced to a quick death carried out by me, in spite of your aid in the war not being entirely voluntary"

Revan internally scoffed. Of course it wasn't voluntary, at least to begin with. They had him mind wiped!

"We now feel confident that we can finish the war and end Darth Malak's reign of terror." As Vrook finished his little spiel his lips twitched up into a fleeting smile of triumph.

At this point Revan was really confused. What did Vrook mean end the war? Revan had just managed that himself. And he had no idea what they were talking about when he said that they could now defeat Malak. He remembered very vividly plunging his lightsaber into Malak and holding his oldest friend as he died.

It was then that Revan decided enough was enough and force or no he was getting off this table and getting to Bastilla. The Jedi council had clearly gone insane. He took a deep breath in, cataloguing his physical condition and anything he could use, and almost choked on that breath at what he realised. When he was examining his body he found that it was in a horrible state. His muscles had atrophied, he'd lost an insane amount of weight, his hair was far too long and his throat, now that he was paying attention, was completely dry. He wracked his brain for what could have caused all this until every thought he was having froze at one terrifying conclusion. The only thing he could think of that would do this to his body was if he had being lying on this table, unconscious and barely looked after, for months. He could even feel that the wounds he had gained from Malak's betrayal weren't the scars he remembered, but that they were barely treated wounds, as if he'd only been given the most basic first aid, and that all the wounds he had acquired in his quest for the Star Forge were gone.

He looked about the room he was in for evidence that the conclusion he had come to wasn't true, couldn't be true, but all he found was a large group of Jedi Masters staring at him in pity, Vrook's smug grin and the fact that Bastilla could no longer look him in the eye, even as she continued to struggle to reach him.

Vrook chose this moment to speak again, having felt Revan realise the truth.

" Yes, Revan. The assistance that you have given us wasn't to fight the war for us, but to tell us all the secrets of the Sith. When you were first brought to us by Bastilla, barely clinging to life, we considered trying to wipe your mind, but we discovered that you were too strong in the force. Any situation that we could think of where we tried to suppress your identity ended in your force powers quickly re-asserting your true identity. We were almost resigned to settling for your death when a bright young mind came up with the solution. If your identity could not be erased, if your own mind would not let you accept defeat, then we should give it what it wants. The last several months from your perspective have been a lie Revan. It has all been an illusion, a trick, letting your mind think that it had won. That despite our efforts to destroy it you had pulled through. It took the combined concentration of the entire council to keep you submerged in this delusion long enough for you to reveal all your secrets, right down to how to defeat Malak in one on one combat"

Revan closed his eyes at this, almost unable to bear the weight of this truth. But it was at this point, when he was just ready to die, that he felt Vrook press his unlit lightsaber above his heart and deliver the final blow to his fragile mind.

"Sadly though, even with the combined might of the council, we wouldn't have been able to break deep enough into your mind. The only way this all was possible was through infiltrating your mind by an already existing bond, one that was connected so tightly to you that it almost joined your life force with that person. There was only one being who fit that description, the same young woman who had come up with the idea in the first place, as well as the one who captured you. The only downside was that she would have to be trapped in the illusion with you in order for it all to work. Fortunately this brave young padawan volunteered for the procedure. She voluntarily subjected herself to your twisted mind and the delusion we forced on it, believing it was real just as deeply as you. Unfortunately, as you can see, that has damaged her own mind in the process, though we should be able to delete any lasting effects without much problem. Isn't that right Bastilla?"

At that last word, the name of the woman he loved more than life itself, Revan broke. He could not care anymore about anything, not even that without his efforts, the galaxy would eventually be destroyed by the insanity of the Sith Emperor or the Vong should he fail at it. The only thoughts he had where for his love, the woman who had betrayed him body, mind and soul before they had even properly known one another. It was with that revelation, that horrific truth bouncing round his mind, all the while hearing Bastilla scream that she was sorry, that she did love him, that even if everything else was a lie that would always remain true, that Vrook activated his lightsaber.

He had always wondered what this would feel like. There had been hundreds, maybe even thousands that had died on his own blade in a similar fashion. He knew academically that the brain would continue to operate for a very short while. He had been curious in the past, that if this was how he would go, if this was his end, what would he spend his last moments thinking on. Before this moment he might have said it would be focused on revenge. He had been the Lord of Revenge after all. The thought had even crossed his mind that he might feel regret, if his self-assigned task remained unfinished.

All those theories were wrong.

Despite all she had done to him, even though she had been instrumental in the violation of his very soul for the Jedi's purposes, his last moments were spent straining to try and get one last glimpse of her.

It was just as he felt himself finally slipping fully away that he managed to catch her eyes as she struggled in vain towards him, having finally escaped the grasp of the Jedi restraining her, that he decided that despite everything, for all the promises he made that he was never able to keep, he would keep the one that meant the most to him, the one he had made as she came back to him on the Star Forge, and use his last breath to say

"I forgive you, Bastilla, and I love you"

-The End-

A/N Well hopefully you all like this little one-shot. I'm going to try and do a few different one's in different fandom's to see if I can get back into the swing of it and continue my longer stories. Goodbye till next time and God Bless


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